Every Friday after school, I would hop into my grandpa’s beat-up Toyota Camry and we would take the long way home.
Sometimes it was to pick up food, other times just to cruise along the backroads. Always with the windows cracked open and the oldies station humming. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I really loved listening to his voice.
Mr. Liang was the type of guy who wore button-ups every day, even on the weekends. He grew up in Fujian during the Cultural Revolution, had $200 when he arrived in the United States, and managed to raise two children while working two jobs. He did not talk about his struggles much unless you asked. But in that Camry, his stories were just small talk.
One week, he told me about mopping factory floors to pay for English classes. Another time, he shared the first time he spoke English to a fast food worker. How his knees shook! At dinner, he reminisced on his relocation to a rural village for being a teacher, a supporter of those ‘stinking intellectuals’. And somewhere between Trader Joe’s and the freeway on-ramp, I learned more about grit, patience, and how to stay calm in rush hour than I ever have from a textbook.
It was how he told them, as if the difficulties he faced were just part of life: without bitterness and without regret. Just this quiet confidence that made you want to listen. He never said “you should” or “you must.” It was just an old man’s reflection on his life. But you would leave the car wanting to do better. To be better.
I think about those drives now more than ever. Especially when life gets noisy. When I am tempted to rush through things or freak out over college apps, I try to channel that same calm he had. Yes, life is tough, but you got this.
We do not drive together much anymore. He is getting older and I am getting busier. But on the rare days we do, it is like no time has passed. The Camry still creaks the same way. The oldies still play. And Grandpa still smiles that same way when I ask, “So, what was it like back then?”
If you have got someone older in your life, I hope you ask them that question too. You never know what gold they are sitting on until you take the time to ask.
By Kevin Liang
